Why can't I be upset about this?

Ok. so me and my now ex friend talked today. I hung up on her 2 times  because talking to her just raised my blood pressure up. Then she just IMed my phone which was way better. Apparently, I never leave my friend Anna's side when she trys to talk to me about it. Yeah, she has never tried to talk to me about anything. Ever! So then she said that we need to talk about this at school because we have been friends for way tooo long. Pshhhh! We have had problems since the very beginning of our friendship. I have just let her get away with almost everything for far to long. So I didn't want her to have any hope...so I just sent it. I said "Actually, I think you were right before when you said that we might not be able to get back to what we were. Since everything has been going on I don't know if I want to fix things. It's just not there anymore :(" . Ok I was going to say that to her in person, but she said it would be easier if I said it like that so basically she got what she asked for. We had our good times...yeah...but those times have come to an end. Idk how to explain it to where someone would get it, but I just don't feel that connection to her anymore. I mean...I don't have any emotional feelings toward her. The only thing I ever get is mad at her. I will always pray that she is doing ok, and I don't hate her or anything. I just think we need to end it before we hurt each other anymore. I think that makes sense. Besides, I am moving to Florida in less than a year and at the rate at what we are going...its not going to work out. Its just time to move on. I think that is why I am so calm about this. I know that things are going to be ok and that the end of this friendship doesn't mean all the rest are doomed. I really thank my friends Anna, Brittney, and Donald for helping me get through this. Brittney can't do much, but she knows how to make me laugh. :) I know that I am going to be friends with them FOREVER! I know this might be to much, but I think that I should post a picture of me and Deshay. Just to show the good times that we did have. I do want to keep those memories. :)

I can never replace what Annie-Boo and Molly Sue had, but I can move on and make new friends. This is a lesson learned. I will always love her deep down, but it is time for it to end. I'm sorry.

Gah, so I am failing at blogging, but I need to vent.

Ok. So I will be continuing my 30 day challenge, but for this post I want to put it all down the things that I have been feeling lately. This past week I have felt so horrible, and just alone inside. Now let me tell you, I was never "alone alone", but I just felt it. In a few posts back I told you guys how I was having problems with my best friend. Well after a few weeks of feeling like we were doing ok...everything just fell apart this week. It took this week to make me finally realize that our friendship is over. I just hate how she is, and me being mad at her is making me draw myself away from her. She gets so mad that I hang out with Anna all the time, and I don't think she gets that she is the one who causes it. Other than that, I love hanging out with Anna. We have great laughs, and are so close we can talk without talking. She helps me when I am upset, and I love everything about her :). I am sad that me and my friend aren't friends anymore. :( Im not going to say I dont care, because I do. I don't want anyone thinking that I just don't care, and that I am just giving up. Trust me, I have been fighting for this friendship as much as possible. She just brings out the bad side in me, and I need to focus on other things. If anything I need to just get out of here. Which brings me to say the fact that I will be leaving for Las Vegas on March 20th. I will make sure to take a gizzilion pictures. I just hope that the rest of my senior year isn't filled with drama. :( I want this to be the best year ever! Oh on a lighter note: I had real sushi for the first time yesterday. It was awesome, and eel taste real yummmmy. :) I love you guys.