Why can't I be upset about this?

Ok. so me and my now ex friend talked today. I hung up on her 2 times  because talking to her just raised my blood pressure up. Then she just IMed my phone which was way better. Apparently, I never leave my friend Anna's side when she trys to talk to me about it. Yeah, she has never tried to talk to me about anything. Ever! So then she said that we need to talk about this at school because we have been friends for way tooo long. Pshhhh! We have had problems since the very beginning of our friendship. I have just let her get away with almost everything for far to long. So I didn't want her to have any hope...so I just sent it. I said "Actually, I think you were right before when you said that we might not be able to get back to what we were. Since everything has been going on I don't know if I want to fix things. It's just not there anymore :(" . Ok I was going to say that to her in person, but she said it would be easier if I said it like that so basically she got what she asked for. We had our good times...yeah...but those times have come to an end. Idk how to explain it to where someone would get it, but I just don't feel that connection to her anymore. I mean...I don't have any emotional feelings toward her. The only thing I ever get is mad at her. I will always pray that she is doing ok, and I don't hate her or anything. I just think we need to end it before we hurt each other anymore. I think that makes sense. Besides, I am moving to Florida in less than a year and at the rate at what we are going...its not going to work out. Its just time to move on. I think that is why I am so calm about this. I know that things are going to be ok and that the end of this friendship doesn't mean all the rest are doomed. I really thank my friends Anna, Brittney, and Donald for helping me get through this. Brittney can't do much, but she knows how to make me laugh. :) I know that I am going to be friends with them FOREVER! I know this might be to much, but I think that I should post a picture of me and Deshay. Just to show the good times that we did have. I do want to keep those memories. :)

I can never replace what Annie-Boo and Molly Sue had, but I can move on and make new friends. This is a lesson learned. I will always love her deep down, but it is time for it to end. I'm sorry.

Gah, so I am failing at blogging, but I need to vent.

Ok. So I will be continuing my 30 day challenge, but for this post I want to put it all down the things that I have been feeling lately. This past week I have felt so horrible, and just alone inside. Now let me tell you, I was never "alone alone", but I just felt it. In a few posts back I told you guys how I was having problems with my best friend. Well after a few weeks of feeling like we were doing ok...everything just fell apart this week. It took this week to make me finally realize that our friendship is over. I just hate how she is, and me being mad at her is making me draw myself away from her. She gets so mad that I hang out with Anna all the time, and I don't think she gets that she is the one who causes it. Other than that, I love hanging out with Anna. We have great laughs, and are so close we can talk without talking. She helps me when I am upset, and I love everything about her :). I am sad that me and my friend aren't friends anymore. :( Im not going to say I dont care, because I do. I don't want anyone thinking that I just don't care, and that I am just giving up. Trust me, I have been fighting for this friendship as much as possible. She just brings out the bad side in me, and I need to focus on other things. If anything I need to just get out of here. Which brings me to say the fact that I will be leaving for Las Vegas on March 20th. I will make sure to take a gizzilion pictures. I just hope that the rest of my senior year isn't filled with drama. :( I want this to be the best year ever! Oh on a lighter note: I had real sushi for the first time yesterday. It was awesome, and eel taste real yummmmy. :) I love you guys.

Day 9: A picture of my friends Day 10: something I am afraid of

O.k. so i have to post two pictures on this one because Brittney was never in the picture with the whole gang

 Ok well this is the gang. (from left to right) Tessa, me, deshay, and half of anna...I think Anna deserves a full picture.

 This is Anna :) We are really great friends, and could never ask for a better friend....ever! I love this girly with all my heart.

This is Brittney. I miss her so much because she lives in Las Vegas, but me and her will be sisters forever. We are also planning on living with each other in our elderly years. Who needs a nursing home when you can live with friends? Haha

Mk so I am afraid of the dark...like I can't be in the dark. I also hate spiders. I am also afraid of making it on my own because I have had my parents for the last 18 years. How I am going to make  it....idk. :)

Day 7: Favorite Movies and Day 8: Place that I have travelved to

O.k. well it is super hard to choose that one movie that makes me happy because there are several movies I love. So instead of putting down my favorite movies, I am going to put the movies I like to watch according to my mood. :)
1. When I am sad and need to let it all out- Titantic
2. When I am sick of boys- John Tucker must Die
3. When I am super happy- Anything Disney
4. When there is tornado weather- twister
5. When I am feeling on the edge- Anything horror.
Ok so those are my five mood movies... I watch different types of movies, and it would be impossible to just pick one (and I am many are like that). Each movie has a significance in my life, and something that I learn from it each time.

Ok, so a place I have traveled to... Hmm well mostly I would do Florida as a place, but I am pretty sure that everyone knows that I have been there. I want to tell of a place that actually taught me a lesson. In 2009, my family went on a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico. Talk about an experiance. It was our first cruise, and I hated it. Its not that it wasn't any fun, but I had no clue what to do. I spent everyday in my room ordering room service (that was a blast). Once we got to Cozumel, we didn't stay long on land. There was people trying to get us to go to places, a lady kept offering me Tiquila...It was just an overall bad experiance. I would rather take a cruise to Hawaii...just saying. Or maybe the carribean. Just never mexico. Didn't like it one bit. :) I might do another 30 day challange blog today...Just because I am so bored like that. Lol Love ya guys.

Day 6: A picture that makes me happy

This here is Stetson University. It is the perfect college for me. I used to want to go to Florida Institute of Technology, but it took me a decline of acceptance to figure out that I wouldn't have been truly happy there. I remember when I took my tour of Stetson. I was so happy, and secretly I loved it more than F.I.T. I guess I never wanted to admit it to myself because before then F.I.T. had been my dream. I am going to be attending Stetson in the fall and I can't wait. I have already met some awesome people who are/who might attend there. First is Jenn. Jenn is like the most awesome Floridian I know so far. Technically, she isn't a Floridan, but she lives there. If she attends Stetson I hope me and her are roommates. The next awesome person is Paul. Paul is a great guy, and an even greater pianio player. He is also good at writing. :P. The other guy I have met is Manny. Manny is such a nice guy, and I can tell that he is going to be great to talk to. You are going to notice that I will be talking about college/Florida a lot. :) EEEEEP! I can't wait.

Day 4 and 5: My parents and my brother

I love my parents. They are really awesome. Even at times when I don't like to admit it. Sometimes they drive me crazy. Like when I want to just sit in bed and be lazy, and not do any chores. Yeah, I am selfish. But, I am trying to change that. My mom has always been there for me. I would have to say she is my number 1 supporter in my life. She has never told me that i will "change my mind" being a marine biologist. She even helped me find prospective colleges. I would have to say that she deserves "Mother of The Year" award. Of course, everyone thinks that of their moms. My dad is also great. He really knows how to make me laugh, even when I don't want to. Sometimes I don't think that I appreciate him enough. :( I really need to change that. O.k. so I am combining day 4 and 5...so now my brother. He is really sweet, and kind to everyone. Yes, he drives me crazy to the 10th degree. I really hate how I treat him sometimes. Me writing all of this, shows me that I need to be a little bit kinder. It's not that I mean to do it... it's just that it sort of happens. Well that is all of that.
I really think that Deshay and I are doing a lot better. I think that we are actually going to be ok. :) I am starting to miss my friend Brittney more than anything. :( I could really use her right now. I am going through a time in my life where everything is sort of messed up. I am going to keep praying that I get some answers to the many questions that I have. I am going to try and do better with blogging. :) That is my goal.

day 3: First love :/

Well, I wasn't really looking forward to this one. Ok. Well my first love was Anthony Sweet. Now when I say "first love" it doesn't literally mean we both loved each other and had a great relationship. haha no! I loved this guy with all my heart. I gave my heart to him I don't know how many times. But each time he broke it.

This is him... the famous Anthony. You  might be thinking "gross, what was she thinking?". Everytime that I looked at him, it made my heart skip a beat. What I felt for him, I don't know. All I know is, that I learned so much from him, mostly what not to look for in a guy. But yeah. That is him. :/ part of me will always have that love for him (i mean he was my first love). But never will anything happen. haha. Ok. well that is all :)